Tuffy's Guide to Training your Human

These be some of the main 'tricks' that Snoopy taught me ... I hope she won't get mad when she finds out that I've taken her ideas and published them in my name. (I'd be thumped to pulp that's for sure ... good thing she doesn't blog ...). These, I thought are some useful tips on how us canines at Dog Woods train our human(s).

LESSON ONE : PLAY TIME

1. Stick head inside Human's Cage - or what they call 'House' (if not allowed inside). Whine and bark gently to get Human's attention.

2. Muster most pitiful-woe-is-me look with play of soulful eyes.

3. When human asks 'What's the matter?' (or something along those lines), smile (big toothy grin) and wag tail (the more furious tail wagging the better!)

4. Wait patiently.

5. When Human says 'let's go walk-ies...', bark enthusiastically and run ahead.

6. Bay out to other canine pack members to join in fun

7. Playfully wrestle and chase play-mates

8. Repeat until run out of 'steam' ...

LESSON TWO : MEAL TIME

1. Run up to Human and bark expectantly - better still if can muster special bark for 'Food Please!!'

2. When Human looks to ask 'What's with the barking ...?', muster most pitiful- famished-about-to-drop-on-side-if-you-don't-feed-me-NOW-look.

3. Whine moanfully to complete the effect.

4. Stand on hindlegs or Lean on Human. Stare meaningfully to REINFORCE message.

5. Gaze longingly at food as Human dishes out food.

6. Ignore jibes about weight.

7. Wait patiently for dinner bowl to be placed on ground

8. Wait to be invited to eat.

9. Don't eat!! You never know ... that might just convince your Human to give you what she/he has on her/his plate instead ... human food is DEFINITELY more tasteful than Doggy Bites. :P)

LESSON THREE : BED TIME

1. Wrestle, bark, make ruckus until Human decides its time to wind down for bedtime.

2. Beg Human for bed time treats ... bark meaningfully and muster most hopeful stare.

3. Gobble down treats.

4. Bark enthusiastically and resume tearing up and down space with playmate. Doggy wrestle until run out of breath.

5. Watch Human lay out sleeping mats

6. Nestle onto mat.

7. Snuggle down while Human fusses affectionately.

8. ZZzzzzz ....