Monday, March 30, 2009

Three Words ...

... that sets any Dog Woods canine - TOP DOG or otherwise cowering is when the Big Chief discovers something she deems a 'misdemeanor' of graphically undisputed canine work (drat those chew marks and scratches) is the glowering :-


Wooo! Now that's enough to send shivers down any Dog Woods Canine spine - guilty or otherwise we find ourselves scooting for cover!

When the Chief raises her voice A mere TONE it's as if someone's suddenly turned the volume of the audio speakers FULL BLAST. While a mere tone would not be much to the human ears but to a dog of highly developed hearing, it's not only startling, it's terribly unnerving. Makes the pitter-patter of our doggy hearts race big time - not in a very pleasant way.

It's worst when anyone of us is caught red-paw-ded in the act. The guilty would have the embarassing 'honour' of having his or her name used in as ONE of those THREE (dreaded) Words i.e.:-

'(Insert Guilty Dog WOods Canine's name)!!!! That's ENOUGGGHHHHHH!!!!'

Yesterday evening, it was Joe. He discovered his toy rubber bone that the Chief confiscated for fear of him chewing and swallowing the toy. Thrilled with his precious discovery he didn't want any of us Dog Woods Pack within 5 feet proximity from him and his precious toy. This TOP DOG unfortunately is not very good at estimating spatial distance. It turns out from Joe's point of measurement Tuffy Lord of Dog Woods happen to be 4 ft away ...

Joe chewing on very very robust doggy dumbell

Needless to say, yours dog-gedly got jumped on. If it had not been for the Chief's appalling loud yell and her intervention (the water hose clears out any canine disputes in a jiffy!) .. Joe would have gone on thumping innocent bystander me. The Chief's has again confiscated the toy bone which has been the cause of Joe's aggressive outburst. This time it's kept under lock and key!

So! If those three words are so scary, why has it not deterred us Dog Woods Pack from committing further misdemeanors? Well... simply ... we can't help it! Treats simply must be gobbled down, immaculate landscapes be dug up and well, some pup will eventually be thumped - whether he deserves it or not. It's what we canines do ... and sometimes there's simply no justifying our actions. We are canines after all and we operate according to the canine means of programming not humans.

It's a good thing the Chief uses her decibel prowess quite sparingly - else with the number canine of misdemeanors happening daily, other Cat City inhabitants strolling by Dog WOods would think the Chief's gone barkingly mad !

All ended well yesterday. I was rattled but unscathed. Didn't have much time to feel sorry for myself because the Chief gave me some yummy beef jerky treats to calm my nerves. Wrroooo! :)


  1. Hehe, we feel your pain dude, apparently when you own a pack of hounds you need a bigger voice than theirs! Our Mum's is like a foghorn, it's very upsetting!
    Slobbers xx

  2. Arr mommmee haz 3 diffrent words: "CUT IT OWT"! Wee heer dem a lot.

    Gus and Waldo

  3. hello tee its dennis the vizsla dog hay at leest yore mama hasnt set up viddyo kamras yet to spy on yoo when she is not home like wot dada duz to me!!! altho laytly i hav not ben dooing ennything intresting so he has stopd with the survaylense wich i think meens that now i can git away with stuf agin ha ha ok bye

  4. ANYWAY...what Dennis The Vizsla pawed!

    PeeEssWoo: Have woo evfur seen Dennis making a windowseat NOT a windowseat? It is a masterpiece!

  5. Our mom's three words are "Knock It Off". It's usually either Fudge or Bailey that get us all in trouble. Monty use to tell mom when someone was doing something bad. He was a tatler with a tail.

  6. Oh, we just heard our mom utter that exact same words this morning!

    Tinkerbell, Oscar and Tucker

  7. Still trying to sort this all out - so getting thumped by Joe and having to endure the Chief's voice was a good thing?

    Tail wags, the OP Pack