Bark-day Pitch (II) From the Chief to the Dog Woods Canine

Hello there!

This be what the Chief wrote to us today regarding the Couple of Bark-day Paw-ties Per Week Pitch. I had Snoopy to analyse the letter and the smart cookie says there's nothing to analyze.
Request DENIED. :P

But somehow it doesn't feel so bad. At least we still get to paw-ty daily! Woooo!!!

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Dear Roly-Polies,

Am afraid having at least a couple of bark-day pawties a human week complete with Bark-day Cakes, treats and all is simply out of the question.

Have you measured the size of your expanding hips lately? Your diet obviously is NOT working, judging from the fact that you all almost always succeed in manipulating me to give you treats in between your meals.

Besides, at the rate you roly-poly pupper-ties are paw-tying i.e. running around unleashed daily, wrecking havoc in the gardens, dig, wrestle, tear, chew and chase each other for the entire day almost and then collapse in a happy contented furry heap in hopefully anticipation of treats or the next meal; For any Bark-day Paw-ty celebration to be 'felt' in Dog Woods'Pack daily gala of a time instance, you'd all have to have to undergo a drastic change of lifestyle i.e. be confine in some kind of space where you're unable to do much demolition work, have a reduction of treats and meals, play alot less ...

I don't think that lifestyle would do very well with the Dog Woods Pack especially since you poochies are accustom to Daily Paw-tying.

Now, please don't inteprete it as my loving you any less. Just from a health point of view a couple of Bark-day Cakes and more treats a week is a little too much for you poochies. But having said that, that doesn't rule out a occassional Bark-day Cakes and special treats a year. While the Paw-tying (i.e. the mad wild stampeding about) and demolition work I believe (quite resignedly) I can deal with ...

Deal?

Yours lovingly,

The Big Chief