THE SNuffy-Rena!

I caught SNOOPY doing this peculiar little dance the other day. When I queried her about all that strange stomping and wriggling - she smugly told me that she was doing the 'MACA-RENA' - something she learnt while watching MTV. (Only Snoopy's allowed inside to watch telly with the BIG CHIEF. She's the CHIEF's favourite - Bah, Hum-Bone!)

Determined to be THE MOST HAPPENING DOG of DOG WOODS (I am after all TOP DOG!) if not just-as-HAPPENING-as-SNOOPY, I've instructed her to teach me the steps to the MACARENA - which is now known as 'SNUFFY-RENA'!! I am after all Lord of the Realm! And all dances have to be named by ME!

Teaching his 'DOGship' the steps to SNUFFY-RENA

Also discovered that the SNUFFY-RENA' apparently makes an effective SUN-DANCE - when danced by CANINEs. The sun's finally out after weeks and weeks of miserably wet weather - thanks to all that STOMPING ABOUT - although the BIG CHIEF had her reservations about our sudden excited stomping and hopping about !!

The BIG CHIEF's sure is pleased that the laundry gets to dry out under the sun for a change. Us doggies at DOG WOODs are also thrilled that we can now sunbathe our puppy heart's content instead of being curled up some damp chilly spot trying to keep warm.

Must make mental note to get the SNUFFY-RENA @ SUN-DANCE patented...(must ask the BIG CHIEF to recommend her clever lawyer friends!). This could be a lucrative 'CASH DOG' enterprise.

So readers of Europe(understand you have very bad cold wet spells) if you're reading this, the 'SNUFFY-RENA' (i.e. coined by Snoopy and the TOP DOG of DOG WOODS) are up for HIRE - for a reasonable price of 1 GAD-ZILLION BONES! Buena!!

Of Sniffs and Smells and Puppy Dog's Tails

Its all about smells in our world of Canine-dom - it's how canines experience the world.

How does a dog get the neighborhood news? Through its nose! How does a dog get to know another - whether it be human or dog - again, through its NOSE! And the best spot where the wealth of smells lies... like it or not, the DERRIERE!

You'd be surprise what rich information the derriere (whether human or canine) can reveal!

Of all a dog's senses, its sense of smell is the most highly developed. Dogs have about 25 times more olfactory (smell) receptors than humans do. These receptors occur in special sniffing cells deep in a dog's snout and are what allow a dog to "out-smell" humans.

Dogs can sense odors at concentrations nearly 100 million times lower than humans can. They can detect one drop of blood in five liters of water! Sniffing the bare sidewalk may seem crazy, but it yields a wealth of information to any dog, whether it's the scent of the poodle next door or a whiff of the hot dog sandwich someone dropped last week.

So gentle readers, be not offended when a dog sniff's your behind. It's a canine's way of 'getting to know you'; to learn more about who you are, where you come from, where you're headed, your preferences, your tastes, your lifestyle, even your personal health history!

Therefore, think NOT our derriere sniffing as rude ... but how a friendly canines say 'How-do-you-Do and Pleased to have met you!'

Puppee-Wuppee!!

This is how you do the 'Puppee-Wuppee' -

a little jingle that's taking Dog Woods by the Bone!

Sung along the popular tune of the 'Hokey Pokey' this little jingle is very popular amongst my Fur Kids and they can't seem to have enough of it ...
The lyrics are in Bold Fonts.
(Picture 1)

You put your right paw in,
(Picture 2)

You put your right paw out (Picture 2);

You put your right paw in (Back to Picture 1),

And you shake it all about
You do the Puppee-Wuppee,

(Picture 3)

And you twirl yourself around (Picture 3),
That's what it's all about!

Repeat steps with 'Left Paw', 'Back Paws','Head' Ending with 'Whole Pup In'. :)

I assure you its an effective way of keeping one's FurKids out of one's Fur - getting them occupied with dancing the 'Puppee-Wuppee'!

Doggy Dance

First Movement : Run along side partner - paw and nudge, paw and nudge.
Second Movement : Paw and Hop (i.e. Stand on Hindlegs)
Movement Three : Paw and Twirl.

Don't get the wrong idea, Snoopy and I are NOT fighting. We're actually 'Dancing'!

Its called the 'Paw-Fur-Fang' - which to the Human eye would remind one of the Chinese Lion Dance that seems to be the favourite with Humans over the CHINESE NEW YEAR. As oppose to the perception that Basset Hounds are slow and clumsy , we're actually quite nimble on our paws. The dance actually requires a fair bit of elaborate agility and panache which only the most talented of dogs in DOG WOODS (like myself) can master.

Like clockwork (we DOGS are a stickler to ROUTINES) the 'Paw-Fur-Fang' is usually danced after a hefty meal. A great form of entertainment - BIG CHIEF seems to enjoy watching us 'Dance'. And also a FUN way to work up a 'sweat' - though we canines don't exactly 'sweat' the same way as humans do. Heat leaves our bodies through our lolling tongues.

Cooling down after a good work out!

When there are no strangers or garbage trucks to chase, the 'Paw-Fur-Fang' is a great way to keep this TOP DOG fit and endear ourselves to our human audience. ;)

Rip-Van-Tuffy

Let me tell you a tale about how I went missing that set Dog Woods in frantic frenzy.

It all began with that dreadful flea spray that the BIG CHIEF kept insisting on squirting on us lot - just because she found a couple of ticks on a couple of my FUR KIDS(which she immediately killed - with NO REMORSE TOO!). Unlike Snoopy who obliges the BIG CHIEF's every whims and fancies and my FUR KIDS - who've yet learnt how to run and hide; I wasn't about to let the CHIEF rub me down with that nefarious spray that stings not only the skin and sets our eyes tearing but also throws off our very highly developed sense of smell.

And so, I woof-ed a brilliant plan. I would conveninently go missing and pretended to both go invisible and deaf when the BIG CHIEF came looking and calling. No treat was going to set this Doggy on the call! To pass the time hiding amongst the junk in a broken down shed of a remote and forgotten corner of DOG WOODS, I thought I'd get a little 'shut eye'.

"It won't be long ..." I thought, "..JUst UNTIL SHE forgets about the evil flea spray ..." And before I could complete 'BOW-WOW...' my fourty WINKS became deep 'Rapid Eye Movement Sleep' - the sort that no THUNDER could stir!

Meanwhile, the BIG CHIEF was becoming very concerned because the TOP DOG she knew didn't come running when she called. For over an hour the BIG CHIEF searched and called and not even whisker of mine (yours doggedly!) was to be seen.

Fearing the worst(have his LORDSHIP been dog-napped?! Out LOST?! or in trouble SOMEWHERE?!), the BIG CHIEF wasted no time reporting my 'lack of presence'. A search party was quickily formed, people in cars, motorbikes and on foot were set out looking for me. The police patrol car that so happen to be passing DOG WOODS that afternoon was alerted. Calls were made to the newspapers, vets and pet shops just to check if anyone has brought in a lost BASSET HOUND of my unique markings. An advertisment with my charming photos were designed and typed out ready to the sent out to the various local newspapers. Even a very lucrative reward was put together for the FINDER of YOUR LORDSHIP to be returned to his rightful realm.

While DOG WOODS was abuzz with frenetic activity, I slept peacefully like a puppy ... tucked comfortably in my cosy, little corner, happily dreaming of tasty treats, chewy bones and chase-able trucks and strangers!

It was only about DINNER TIME when my growling tummy woke me that I discovered to my surprise that not only too much TIME had passed (without having snacks in between)but my COSY CORNER had turned trap! You see, I had squeezed into the corner to hide from BIG CHIEF's evil flea spray ... after my snooze that lead to a deep long slumber, I had somehow forgotten HOW (technique of WRIGGLES) to squeeze out! I began to whine-fully worry (No dinner?!? This is more than a dog can bear...!)

Fortunately then, the BIG CHIEF was still on the look-out (got to give it to her for being so doggedly determined!). Hoping that she would hear my WHINES for HELP proved futile since my (blasted!) FURKIDS were whining too in concert ... (Of all days to pick to play MIMIC-the- LEADER, they had to choose the day I was stuck!)And because everyone else was whining, BIG CHIEF (who was coming quite close to where I was stuck hiding) was thrown off the trail.

With thoughts of NO diner and not ever seeing BIG CHIEF and the rest of my DOG WOOD SUBJECTS again, my worry became a kind of PANIC FRENZY. Being an adept chewer and clawer (one of my many many wonderful talents), I chewed and clawed my way through the debris and finally wriggled myself FREE!

Thrilled by my escape and filled with excitment (of finally getting dinner and seeing BIG CHIEF), I ran through the pouring rain, to the top of DOG WOOD hills (where BIG CHIEF just had been) and loudly proclaimed my TOP DOG presence.

'BOW-WOW-WOW-WOW-WOW!!!!'

I don't know who was more pleased. BIG CHIEF and her search party or yours barkedly ...

I was given my dinner (even after my wilful misdemeanor!) and fussed over. BIG CHIEF made me promise I'd never go invisible and deaf ever again unless it be of a physical impediment!

But strangely, after all that excited suspense and anticipation, I found - as delicious as my dinner spread was, I had lost my appetite!

Blame it all on the Junk I had to chew and claw! I guess I had JUST DESSERTS after all ... :P

Bark-ology 101

As oppose to what most uninformed humans think, we canine are really an expressive, affectionate and loyal bunch once you get to know us better. It's all about understanding our doggy-language. I know its all 'woofs!' and 'arfs!' to most humans - meaningless 'NOISE' - but really it's not all about the WHAT(s) of our BARKS but the HOW our barks are conveyed!

In doing so, the LISTENER must ALSO take into consideration:-

a) TONE and MANNER of UTTERANCE - high pitched? medium pitched? low pitch? growls? whines? whinge?
b) the TAIL TANGENT - positively vertical, horizontal or negatively vertical i.e. tucked under?
c) MODE OF TAIL WAG - rigourously enthusiastic? somewhat nonchalant? cautiously reserved?
d) the EAR RIFFLE - perky? tweaked back? cocked? laid back?
e) the MOUTH MOVEMENT - jaw-relaxed-tongue-lolling? jaw-clenched-muzzle-scrunched-fangs-showing? mouth-closed-tongue-out-of-sight? mouth-pursed-like-a-human-pout?

For example, in real life my 'Arf! Arf!' Greeting - that I've already translated into Human language in my first entry as 'HELLO!!'is usually accompanied with a) Medium Pitched tone with b) positively vertical tail tangent coupled with much c)rigourous enthusiasm of wags d)laid back ears e) jaw relaxed tongue lolling pleasantness.

I know, having to take those variety of factors into consideration while deciphering our barks may seem terribly complicated at first, or rocket science to many...But really, once you're accustom to our expressive doggy-language i.e. tone of bark, tail tangents, wags, riffles and mouth sector its all rather easy-peasy ... I must say it all boils down to one's power of observations! While I dogmatically think learning ENGLISH is WAYYYYYYYY HARDER to master (I doggily doubt such language is ever master-able!) ... all those grammatical rules and EXCEPTIONS!! Admittedly its really all quite mind boggling even for this brilliant Basset Hound - Lord of DOG WOODS!!

This ends my rather educational entry for now. Stay tuned for more insight on this wonderful world of Canine-ism - in particular, the intrepid brilliant, handsome dogs at DOG WOODS!

A minor mishap ...

Arf-arf!

Missed me? Bet you did ...loveable, adorable doggy, that I am. How can I NOT be MISSED??

Had a minor mishap the other day - which made it virtually impossible to paw my blog update.

Now how did that happen ...?

It's all a rather embarassing tale. I was strutting my stuff (when you got it flaunt it!)...then for some reason, I tripped on me long lovely velvety ears and broke an entire nail. There was blood all over the place. All quite gory and very painful. Being Lord Tuffy of Dog Woods I couldn't bring myself to howl in pain. I don't know which hurt worst, the tumble that broke a nail or my more than bruised TOP DOG ego...*sniff*

Forced to put on my most stoic dog-face - even if I was on th verge of crumbling. In times like these, its tough being the brave TOP DOG...

BIG CHIEF was quite alarmed, of course. Where there used to be a nail there's now a gaping wound in one of my pads! She's since cleaned my paw with some foul smelling concoction and rubbed on some icky-tasting ointment (I had a lick to see if it was something I could eat..) - apparently to prevent infections.

Actually, we canines have no need of noxious smelling and tasting human-made medicine. Our saliva is quite enough - our amazing healing spit! A perfect antidote/salve for all stings, cuts, wounds and injuries. So its only natural that I've been licking my injured right paw every moment I can ...

As I paw this, am now up and about - walking around as usual, abeit a little gingerly ...

That's me (a few hours ago), scuttling off the check out those DE-LI-CIOUS smells emanting from the kitchen. The BIG CHIEF is baking again ... ! Yum Yum, *smack lips* I hope she accidently burns one for me...