Friday, February 6, 2009


Let me tell you a tale about how I went missing that set Dog Woods in frantic frenzy.

It all began with that dreadful flea spray that the BIG CHIEF kept insisting on squirting on us lot - just because she found a couple of ticks on a couple of my FUR KIDS(which she immediately killed - with NO REMORSE TOO!). Unlike Snoopy who obliges the BIG CHIEF's every whims and fancies and my FUR KIDS - who've yet learnt how to run and hide; I wasn't about to let the CHIEF rub me down with that nefarious spray that stings not only the skin and sets our eyes tearing but also throws off our very highly developed sense of smell.

And so, I woof-ed a brilliant plan. I would conveninently go missing and pretended to both go invisible and deaf when the BIG CHIEF came looking and calling. No treat was going to set this Doggy on the call! To pass the time hiding amongst the junk in a broken down shed of a remote and forgotten corner of DOG WOODS, I thought I'd get a little 'shut eye'.

"It won't be long ..." I thought, "..JUst UNTIL SHE forgets about the evil flea spray ..." And before I could complete 'BOW-WOW...' my fourty WINKS became deep 'Rapid Eye Movement Sleep' - the sort that no THUNDER could stir!

Meanwhile, the BIG CHIEF was becoming very concerned because the TOP DOG she knew didn't come running when she called. For over an hour the BIG CHIEF searched and called and not even whisker of mine (yours doggedly!) was to be seen.

Fearing the worst(have his LORDSHIP been dog-napped?! Out LOST?! or in trouble SOMEWHERE?!), the BIG CHIEF wasted no time reporting my 'lack of presence'. A search party was quickily formed, people in cars, motorbikes and on foot were set out looking for me. The police patrol car that so happen to be passing DOG WOODS that afternoon was alerted. Calls were made to the newspapers, vets and pet shops just to check if anyone has brought in a lost BASSET HOUND of my unique markings. An advertisment with my charming photos were designed and typed out ready to the sent out to the various local newspapers. Even a very lucrative reward was put together for the FINDER of YOUR LORDSHIP to be returned to his rightful realm.

While DOG WOODS was abuzz with frenetic activity, I slept peacefully like a puppy ... tucked comfortably in my cosy, little corner, happily dreaming of tasty treats, chewy bones and chase-able trucks and strangers!

It was only about DINNER TIME when my growling tummy woke me that I discovered to my surprise that not only too much TIME had passed (without having snacks in between)but my COSY CORNER had turned trap! You see, I had squeezed into the corner to hide from BIG CHIEF's evil flea spray ... after my snooze that lead to a deep long slumber, I had somehow forgotten HOW (technique of WRIGGLES) to squeeze out! I began to whine-fully worry (No dinner?!? This is more than a dog can bear...!)

Fortunately then, the BIG CHIEF was still on the look-out (got to give it to her for being so doggedly determined!). Hoping that she would hear my WHINES for HELP proved futile since my (blasted!) FURKIDS were whining too in concert ... (Of all days to pick to play MIMIC-the- LEADER, they had to choose the day I was stuck!)And because everyone else was whining, BIG CHIEF (who was coming quite close to where I was stuck hiding) was thrown off the trail.

With thoughts of NO diner and not ever seeing BIG CHIEF and the rest of my DOG WOOD SUBJECTS again, my worry became a kind of PANIC FRENZY. Being an adept chewer and clawer (one of my many many wonderful talents), I chewed and clawed my way through the debris and finally wriggled myself FREE!

Thrilled by my escape and filled with excitment (of finally getting dinner and seeing BIG CHIEF), I ran through the pouring rain, to the top of DOG WOOD hills (where BIG CHIEF just had been) and loudly proclaimed my TOP DOG presence.


I don't know who was more pleased. BIG CHIEF and her search party or yours barkedly ...

I was given my dinner (even after my wilful misdemeanor!) and fussed over. BIG CHIEF made me promise I'd never go invisible and deaf ever again unless it be of a physical impediment!

But strangely, after all that excited suspense and anticipation, I found - as delicious as my dinner spread was, I had lost my appetite!

Blame it all on the Junk I had to chew and claw! I guess I had JUST DESSERTS after all ... :P

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