Thursday, February 12, 2009

Smelly Socks

What's wrong with smelling like the stink of unwashed human feet?! To any dog, it's deliciously aromatic and it tells a brave and adventurous story about where one'e been and what one has done. It's any Doggy's badge of Honour!

But the BIG CHIEF seems to think otherwise! She was most cross today when she caught a couple of my Fur Kids gleefully rolling about in 'FERMENTABLE Something' (discernable to the human eye by the extra rich green-ess of the garden's grass)

Woo Hoo! Did they REEK of the Smelliest Socks on the Planet! I say that of course, with the most father-ly pride! Ah! My Fur Kids sure know how to canin-ize their smells! I HAVE taught them well ... *beams*

It's a pity though that the boundaries of DOG WOODS are well guarded. Else, I'd have my Fur Kids roll in the ULTIMATE of SMELLY-NEss ... THE TRAILING FOUL JUICES of the Rubbish Truck!

If one thinks the stink of 'Smelly Feet's' been to places, they ought to try the FOUL JUICEs of Rubbish Truck. Bow-Wow-Wow! That's the equivalent to humans taking a ride to the Moon! Now that's DEFINITELY going places! Just imagine extent of potential territorial markings ... that's at least a gadzillion 'watered' telephone poles and hedges! THE ULTIMATE dog's-actualization!

Now do you, gentle readers, understand why Dogs are drawn to smelly trailings of the Rubbish Trucks? It's all about actualizing the ultimate of Canine Dreams! Acquring that ULTIMATE SMELLY-ness would make HIS or HER (Canine) FOUL-NESS be the ENVY of Canine-dom!

But alas! We in the realm of DOG WOODS have a formidable opposing Force to reckon with ... The BIG CHIEF a.k.a. SHE-WHO-MUST-BE-OBEYED and her army of sweet smelling SoapS, SHAM-Poos and par-FUMES. One roll in the FOUL Juicy Trailings of the Rubbish Truck (even if its SECRETLY done and out of the BIG CHIEF's sight) and doggies of DOG WOOD (whether TOP DOG, Favourite Smart Cookie or not) be swiftly banished to the DOG SHOWERS!

I swear, the BIG CHIEF has eyes at the back of her head! NOTHING seems to escapes her ...what's worst, her sickly SWEET SMELL-ing AMMUNITION is INEXHAUSTIBLE!

I have to admit though,the DOG SHOWERS aren't exactly a terrible experience (daresay I rather enjoy the RUB DOWN!), the DISASTER of it all is that we'd come out smelling sickly SWEET - much to the CHIEF's satisfaction.

What a WASTE Of SMELLy-NESS!! All that HARD WORK ... down the drain! It's enough to make this TOP DOG HOWL with REMORSE!

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